And Big Girls Don't Cry

While I have never known this statement to be true, it seems that it is a good theory to live by.
It has come to my attention that by keeping certain things in my life to myself it has cause more problems than been good.
And that someone has taken my blog post No Air to be about them, when it is not. While something that I have in fact forgiven them for was mentioned in passing...the blog itself was not about them.
I guess I should probably explain to them and to you my readers why my blog and me myself have been in a weird sort of funk lately. and yes i did just say funk.
there are a number of things going on in my life right now so lets just start at the beginning shall we.
1. About a year and a half ago I was told that my grandfather has Alzheimers. At the beginning of this year he was placed in a home and we were told that by the end of the summer he would no longer be with us. Well it is now September and he has surpassed the timeline they gave him. And while they say he is doing better they aren't really giving him much longer. My grandfather was and is and always shall be a big part of my life. Whenever something went wrong he would be the one who helped me or calmed my parents down. And now he can't...now he can't even remember who i am or how i'm related to him. I'm terrified of losing him which I know I will in the very near future.
2. My great-grandmother, whom I mentioned in a previous post, is also dying and will probably be gone with in the next month or two. My great-grandmother is a very infulential person for me and I am not ready to see her go yet. But since my great-grandfather died she has pretty much given up her will to live, and it is apparently amazing that she has survived this long.
3. A person who is very close to me has recently been through a very traumatizing event and is now in a situation that could take them away from me sooner that I would like. This has caused me great distress and made me very cranky and while i would like to spend more time with them, I am so busy that I don't have the time to.
4. I am pretty much failing school I think. It is only the first few weeks of school but physics has me confused and i am just not doing well...that i do believe needs no further explanation...
5. lastly..the thing i have been most hesitant to talk about...and will not mention it here...because well...i am still not fully ready to talk about it...sorry...
so you see...life has been pretty hard...or maybe it's not hard and i've just been putting all of this at a much higher level than it should be...but no matter it has turned me into a depressed person.
so if you hate me after this whatever that's your choice...
but i just thought that you all deserved an explanation...
that #5 thing...will probably be brought up at a later date...just so you know...
until then...
xoxo
Pale Angel